It appears that this is a question that is being asked by many. However, we are asking the wrong question. Perhaps, the question to ask is, “Have I served my spouse the way that I should have? Did I sacrifice my desires to allow my spouse to feel a sense of worth? Did I surrender my selfish mentality and chose to die to myself for the sake of my spouse?”
Selfishness! This is a common problem we see in marriages that are struggling today. I guess it should come as no surprise considering that our culture teaches us that about ME! When, in fact, marriage is about dying to self for your spouse. When both spouses do this, marriage becomes a wonderful relationship. If there is any doubt all we have to do is to look at the model that Christ left for us to follow. He said it best, “I came to serve, not to be served”, but many seem to forget the first part of that statement. A person finds out who they truly are when they can make a sincere gift of themselves. A sincere gift of self, given with no expectations in return.
When we take on the mindset of being a Christian, this is not solely about showing up to church on Sundays. The purpose of being a Christian is to model ourselves and our actions after that of Jesus, who gave without expecting anything in return. He gave of Himself completely to show us what love looks like. Imagine what life would be like when we messed up and Jesus withdrew his love for us. We would be in trouble.
The issue today is that we have forgotten our purpose. This life is not about YOU and what you get out of it. You have been given your life, by God to do His will. His will for all of us is to give without counting the cost, to serve those that come into our lives, to die to ourselves and our selfishness to be of service to another and to surrender our ways and trust in the plan of He who gave us this life!
Marriage is to be a sign of God’s love here on Earth – that is unconditional and never ending. Do you have a perfect marriage – no one does. The struggles are what make us stronger. Pick up your cross and move forward to your destination. A marriage that exemplifies Christ’s love for His Church.